After conserving what seems like the most important secret, I’m excited to share that I’m 21 weeks pregnant! My husband Max, our toddler Ella and I are SO stoked so as to add one other little dude to our crew.
Among the finest issues about this second being pregnant has been feeling extra assured and ready for all of the wild adjustments my physique goes by means of — just like the depth of that first trimester fatigue and the round the clock rest room breaks.
After all, I do know that not each being pregnant is identical, so I wasn’t caught off guard once I began experiencing signs that hadn’t popped up throughout my first being pregnant. For instance, a few weeks into my first trimester, I may odor all the things; and round week eight, I began waking up each morning craving nectarines and watermelon doused in Tajín.
However one feeling I wasn’t ready for? Not feeling tremendous related to my child.
Possibly it’s as a result of I’ve a toddler who I spend all of my free time with. Or perhaps it’s as a result of I’m not pregnant throughout a world pandemic, once I had time to take a seat at house and take into consideration the tiny particular person rising inside me. Or perhaps it’s simply what occurs when you have a second kid?
Regardless of the motive, all I do know is that, as a substitute of spending each waking second checking my Flo app to review the newborn’s improvement and studying birth stories on-line, I’ve been coasting by means of this being pregnant on autopilot. The marvel and fantastic thing about all of it have been hitting me solely through the huge moments, like once I first noticed the gummy-bear-shaped kind throughout our first ultrasound, and after we discovered the intercourse (it’s a boy!). However I’d like to expertise these emotions extra all through this being pregnant — not simply through the milestones.
One factor that helps? The flashlight trick. The primary time I heard about this ritual was throughout my second trimester with Ella. I instructed my mother that might lastly really feel Ella’s light kicks and flutters, and my mother requested: “Did you do the flashlight trick?”
I had no concept what she was speaking about, so she pulled me into the lavatory with a flashlight in hand and turned off all of the lights. She turned the flashlight on, I rolled up my shirt, and she or he pressed the sunshine up towards my spherical stomach. Inside a number of seconds, I felt a *thud, thud, thud*, as Ella’s physique pushed towards the sunshine! It was candy and surreal.
Now with child #2, once I begin to really feel distant from him, I stow myself within the rest room and shine a flashlight on my stomach. And each time I really feel him transfer, a wave of affection and gratitude rushes by means of me. In these couple of minutes alone collectively, I begin to dream about the kind of particular person he’ll be, and really feel a deep longing to really feel his weight in my arms and smother his cheeks with kisses.
I do know I need to not be the one one that had a tough time connecting with my child earlier than assembly them in actual life, so I used to be curious how different mothers bonded with with their infants in utero. I requested author Catherine Newman, who instructed me:
“I keep in mind my pregnancies felt so *hypothetical.* Plus, I’d miscarried earlier than, so I used to be all the time nervous about jinxing all the things. Nonetheless, I sang James Taylor songs to the newborn (and felt slightly foolish), and my companion learn Goodnight Moon to the newborn (and felt slightly foolish) after which later? I spotted that you simply may as nicely lean all the best way in as a result of you may’t preempt grief anyway — probably not — so why dampen your enjoyment?”
Illustrator Ruth Chan is pregnant proper now, and she or he says introducing her favourite meals to her child has been one method to get to know one another: “I eat one thing I like (cake, chilly noodles, poutine), and ask our child if she likes it, too. Typically she’ll kick/punch in response, and I prefer to assume she is doing a contented dance.”
Aren’t each of the following tips candy? Being pregnant is an extremely intense and susceptible expertise, and all kinds of emotions and experiences are regular. You’re by no means alone.
What about you? Did you immediately bond together with your little one when pregnant? If not, did any rituals show you how to really feel nearer? I’d love to listen to your ideas.
P.S. Going from one children to two and how did you know you were ready to have a baby?
(Picture by Guille Faingold/Stocksy.)
